Its almost over! Well, it pretty much is over. And now is the part where you look back at the month and reflect on how great it went.
Well…my Ramadan didn’t actually go too great. I don’t know what happened. Part of me wants to blame it on the fact that Ramadan was in the middle of summer and I was hot and tired, and I just finished school so I was lazy and wanted to just relax. The more rational part of me wants to blame it on myself.
I did not do good this month. I mean, yeah, I fasted and I prayed and I read Quran, but I didn’t get anything out of it. I didn’t look into the meaning of what I was reading, or focus when I prayed, or think about God as much as I should have. Or thank God as much as I should have. I didn’t get what I wanted out of this month. It went by too quickly. I wanted learn more about my religion, and get closer to Allah, and form good habits. I don’t feel like I did any of that. The worst part is that yesterday my dad was telling me about how people who are given the chance to live through another Ramadan and don’t take advantage of it are cursed. The whole time I was sitting there thinking “Why couldn’t you have told me this at the beginning of the month?!”
But aside from my own internal struggles, it just didn’t feel like it was Ramadan. I’d turn on the TV and see so many horrible things happening in the world, or I’d go online and see people (Muslims) talking about Ramadan one minute, and the as soon as they break their fast they’re quoting song lyrics and talking about boys or girls or worse….subtweeting. I just, I feel like no one was in the Ramadan spirit. Even at home everyone was fighting and yelling and stressing out over little things.
My mom made it seem like she basically expected me to sit in my room and read Quran for five hours straight, which I didn’t do because I just don’t have the attention span for that. But I feel like everyone was missing the point of the whole month. Yeah, we fast and pray and learn to be grateful for what Allah has given us, but we’re supposed to grateful for more than food God has given us, or the roof He has put over our heads. I feel like people forget to be grateful for each other. And they forget that being a Ramadan doesn’t just mean fasting and praying and giving to charity.
Ramadan means you are being kind and generous and humble and thankful and helpful and polite and…where am I going with this? I don’t know. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it kinda felt like everyone was going through the motions of Ramadan but no one really gave it any thought. I don’t want it to be like that next time.
Moral of the story: There’s always next year. So don’t screw up or else you’ll be cursed.