Islam is Too Strict (Tumblr Question)

A few days ago I received an anonymous question on tumblr from a young Muslim asking for advice. I think this is a topic we can all relate to in some way, so I wanted to share it with you.

Q: I feel I can’t do anything, and there are so many pressures. How can I get out of this stump? I keep hating Islam for being so strict. I’m not allowed to wear jeans, bright colours, listen to music, draw anime, etc. it’s not fair. What do I do?:(


Hi there! Thanks for checking out my blog!

I understand your problem completely. But please don’t hate Islam because of rules that others enforce on you. I very much believe in finding a middle ground in how you practice your religion. If something you’re currently doing (maybe in terms of modesty or piety) has become too much for you, don’t be too hard on yourself. Find an alternative that is sufficient but also easier for you, that makes you feel comfortable, and that makes you appreciate your faith.

The Prophet PBUH said “Never be extreme regarding religion.” Islam is a religion that encourages balance and finding a middle ground. This means that you should not push your limits. Yes, you should still worship Allah as much as you can, but if you push yourself too far, that is when you start to develop the kind of feelings you’re having. You get stressed and angry and you begin to see the religion as a set of rules and a list of things you’re forced to do, rather than a peaceful way of life.

On the other hand, I get where you’re coming from. I think there are a lot of young Muslim people who feel like this at some point. We’ve all been jealous of the non Muslims who get to wear shorts and tank tops when its hot out, or the ones who get to wear pretty dresses and go to prom, or go to concerts, or even something as simple as being able to wear a T-shirt that your mother would think is too tight.

We all go through that, and I struggled with it for a while, and sometimes still do, but as I got older I learned that a lot of the rules my parents made me follow were for my own good. I know it’s hard to understand right now, especially when it seems like everyone else your age has so much more freedom than you do, but that’s not the case. As you get older you start to appreciate your modesty and innocence, especially when the people around you start making poor choices.

Remember that you have received the ultimate blessing to be a part of this religion. You’ve been given this amazing opportunity to have a close relationship with God and that’s something a lot of people don’t have. These “rules” you follow are meant to bring you closer to Him. If this is something you’re struggling with, then I encourage you to keep making dua and ask Allah for His guidance and mercy. And get to know your religion. You can’t appreciate it if you don’t understand it. Surah Nisa and Surat Al-Fath are great surahs to start with.

Please feel free to ask me for anything else you need help with. These are things that a lot of us Muslim kids deal with and I know its hard to find people to talk about it with, and I’d really like to change that.

Feel free to continue the discussion in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts and advice ๐Ÿ™‚

Follow me on tumblr: theawkwardmuslimgirl.tumblr.com

10 thoughts on “Islam is Too Strict (Tumblr Question)

  1. Hi, I recently came across a website called http://www.faithfreedom.org . The articles there are from e-muslims and has completely shaken my faith… Can you debate with Ali Sina and refute the claims he makes pls… I wanna see him get defeated so that my faith is restored… Else I am gone…


    1. Your faith shouldn’t depend on what one idiot says on the internet. I skimmed through some of the things he said and it was all so aggravating and disgusting and I’m ashamed to have even read such things. This man is an idiot. Please do not listen to a word he says. If you want to see his claims refuted then open the Quran and read it for yourself.

      If you’re questioning your faith, and its alright if you are, then do some research. But read what credible sources have to say. This man is not a credible source. He’s been led astray by shaitan and you need to ignore him.

      Has this one man really led you to believe that there is no God? And if you believe in God but are questioning religion itself then what makes you think this man is an authority on the subject? Just look at the kind of language he’s using. Look at how disrespectful he is. The fact that you even want me to speak against him is enough proof that you don’t believe him. Its proof to me that you know in your heart that he is wrong. And that’s a good place to start.

      When people come to me and say that they’re questioning their religion or struggling with it, my only advice is for them to get to know Islam a little better. To be honest with you, I wouldn’t do research about Islam online. Things get changed, bad people post fake hadith, and surahs get mistranslated. If you really want answers I’d suggest you find a good translation of the Quran, and if you have access to an Islamic bookstore, there’s books on all types of subjects from the Muslim perspective, including atheism, Christianity, and being a young Muslim in today’s society. If that’s too much then at the very least try to go to the lectures at your mosque. That’s the best place to find someone to talk to about these things.

      That being said, I’m always more than happy to keep this conversation going if you still need help. Please let me know if there’s anything specific that you’re struggling with or would like more information about.



      1. Why is someone an idiot for making claims. I come from a Muslim family but ever since I learned about the big bang theory and more in depth science course, I decided that religion was created by humans out of fear. I think Islam is a beautiful peaceful religion and I used to be Muslim but I honestly think its pointless and I don’t believe in god. Plus a lot of times muslims wont give you a straight answer like when i asked my dad about Aisha. Yeah, that was common place but if he was truly a prophet why would he have sex with a 9 year old?Whenever someone has doubt they say oh its just the devil whispering in your ear. That sounds like a folktale to me and i just dont beieve it. A lot of people say they are muslim and that is fine but the only TRUE reason you are muslim is because your parents are. If your parents were Christian you’d be Christian( most likely). How do you know what you truly are if you have not (sincerely) opened up to different ideas.

        Sorry about the rant I just really wanted to tell you this.


  2. I don’t live in the US like you guys. I live in a Muslim country in Africa, and I have so much more freedom. I don’t think you should blame the parents, but put yourself in their shoes. They probably came from a Muslim country to a totally different world where the culture is exactly the opposite theirs. I don’t know the girl’s parent but I am sure they are freaking out everyday, they must be living in fear that their children will become what they fear the most. You say you won’t but wrong things are so attractive and if you lose yourself to something you’ll be falling for everything else.
    I agree that it is suffocating, but don’t resent Islam the satisfaction and the pleasure of spirituality is so much greater than the temporary pleasure of music, art or anything else. I used to draw anime all the time, I used to sing and listen to music _ I was addicted to it, I had the freedom to do all, and one day I chose to quit it all and I didn’t even miss.
    THE SOLUTION: I want you to learn to speak to your parent. I want you to show them you are trustworthy, I want you to prove to them that you wont become like the “other” girls. I want you to learn Quran by heart; earn your freedom. Just remember to speak well without temper say that the clothes or bright colours as long as they are decent won’t affect your pure heart. just speak with kindness and fact and don’t give up if it doesn’t work the first or the 10th time


  3. Great reply! Sometimes parents force these things upon their kids too and not the religion itself, really. Like nobody can be forced to feel faith any more than you can be forced to feel love. It is a matter of awareness! For one truly knows one’s own strengths too and what one would do when one has faced temptation and beaten it. Islam is supposed to be simple, reasonable and understandable! It’s us, the people who make it complicated sometimes. Once there was a guy in the mosque complaining about someone leading the prayer because he didn’t have a beard, seriously ๐Ÿ˜› What about those who can’t even grow one? Lol. Like bright colors, whats the ruling on that? When it comes to jeans, my sister solved that by using a kamiz or some shirt for parda and so on. But jeans should be okay, it’s just the tight jeans that most advise you against. I’ve also come across this thing about music being haram and I sort of stopped for a while, but I never understood why because I never listened to anything bad. Music is debatable because some would say that they bring out feelings and emotions which makes it haram. But a wiseman once told me that some things can be made haram because it can stray you away from your faith, praying and things you are supposed to be doing. Influences that makes you blind and forgetful. Like if one is addicted to games and plays on the computer all day while being completely oblivious to your religious duties, that can be “haram”. Also, sometimes people use the word haram just because it can be bad for you too, not necessarily prohibited ๐Ÿ˜› It comes back to what you said in your reply, about finding a balance in the things we do, a middle-ground. Here’s a quote I wanted to share:

    “I asked God for strength & God gave me difficulties to make me strong, I asked God for wisdom & God gave me problems to solve, I asked God for courage & God gave me obstacles to overcome, I asked God for love & God gave me troubled people to help, I asked God for favours & God gave me opportunities. Maybe I recieved nothing I wanted, but I received everything I needed.” Alhamdulillah!


    1. You’re totally right. A lot of people overcomplicate Islam. I think it comes down to everyone comparing themselves to everyone else and trying to outdo each other. But we all have our own limits, like how you said things that aren’t necessarily haram on their own can be made haram if you let them. People don’t realize that they have to pay attention to their own personal limits, instead of doing the absolute maximum. I’m paraphrasing, but I read something about how someone had decided to fast every day, because the Prophet peace be upon him fasted very often. But then the he made it a rule that you can only fast every other day (or something like that) because fasting every day is going to take a toll on you. That person was comparing himself to the Prophet pbuh, who was the most pious, and perfect Muslim, and he ended up doing something bad because he was pushing himself to someone else’s limits.


  4. “I keep hating Islam for being so strict. Iโ€™m not allowed to wear jeans, bright colours, listen to music, draw anime, etc. itโ€™s not fair. What do I do?”

    1. You can wear jeans, just not tight jeans.
    2. You can wear bright colours.
    3. The listening to music issue, is dependent on a hadith. There are multiple hadiths in which some support the listening to music, others do not. As far as my knowledge gos, music is fine just not to the point where you choose it over Allah (swt) or that it contains vulgarity.
    4. You can draw anime. (I think you misinterpreted a hadith…)

    Islam is not strict, I mean compared to Catholicism in which no one except Catholics can go to heaven.

    Islam has the policy it isn’t not haram then it is halal. Do not talk this as an insult, but learning about your religion is important, otherwise misunderstanding of basic things happen.

    Also, the writer of this blog is right. Do not be too extreme. ๐Ÿ™‚


    1. I think the issue here might be that this person has to follow their parents rules, and their beliefs. But I think you brought up some good points about how you need to know your limits. You can do a lot of things, just as long as its within reason. Thanks for sharing!


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