I spent a solid hour explaining to my sister that she’s better looking than she thinks she is, but she doesn’t realize it because she’s not used to her own face. Like, she thinks she has certain unfavorable traits because she focuses on those when she looks in the mirror and scrutinizes them far beyond what any other person would. And while a lot of us do this to ourselves, we’re still blind to other people’s flaws, because literally no one cares. That’s it. No one gives a damn. And they aren’t going to notice, much less be bothered by, what you don’t like about yourself unless they’re looking for it. And of course, this lecture was followed by me comically roasting several people we know in order to cheer her up. I did not say nice things. But she laughed, which is all that matters.

But it was during this conversation that I realized how completely okay I am with how I look. I try to downplay it as much as I can, but I feel like I’ve achieved some weird nirvana-level of self esteem. I know we’re taught that a little self-deprecation once in a while is good and modest (which is total BS and please don’t teach your children that) but like, I think I’m hot sh*t. Honestly I think I’m great and I look great. Sure, there’s things I’d still like to improve, and it’s not like i think i look perfect in every single selfie, but I feel great about myself. And it’s just so nice. Don’t get me wrong though; there’s still a ton of unflattering facebook pictures I need to untag myself from.

Regardless, I like my face and that’s all that matters.

Also, yesterday I learned that I really like praying with my sister. Its just so nice. It’s different from praying with my mom because I feel like she’s silently watching me and critiquing me while I pray. But with my sister it’s just very chill, and sorta…fun? And even though no one leads the prayer when it’s just us two, we always sorta fall in sync and it secretly makes me really happy. It’s just nice. That’s all.

Moral of the story: I like my face and I like my sister.

2 thoughts on “Thoughts

  1. I like the part where you and your sister pray individually and you’re in sync. It happens with me and my brother. When we’re doing Nawafil after the regular solah, I realize, I go down for ruku and my brother follows suit, It’s kinda cool. I don’t tell my brother because you know guys are idiots and we do not express their feelings but, it’s really cool.


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