Things that bother me

Are you gonna leave the house like that?

Modesty. It means different things to different people. To my parents it seems to mean full burqah. To white parents it means your shorts aren’t showing off your butt-crack. I mean, Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those uber-modern feminist Muslim girls who want to assert their independence by whipping off their hijabs when their parents aren’t looking and change into a pair of itty bitty shorts when they get to school, but I’d just like to not get chastised for wearing skinny jeans for once.

I think the real issue here is that there are just no cute clothes out there for modest, non hijab-wearing Muslim girls. And while many of you will disagree, I rather not dress like a business-casual adult. Yes, I’ve seen plenty of Muslim girls wearing plenty of nice, modest, outfits, but I would like to dress like a teenager. Those girls always get so dressed up, and put so much effort into their outfits and have to wear so many layers just so they don’t show too much skin. I hate layers. Especially in the summer. It just sucks. I mean they look really nice and all, but I just want to be able to throw on a shirt without worrying if the neck is too deep and be done with it.

I want my short sleeve graphic tees with funny sayings on them. I want the ripped jeans and the cute outfits on the mannequins in the juniors section. But those are all either too tight, too short, too revealing, or too hipster for my mother to approve of. Most of all, they’re too “un-Islamic” which is why I have resorted to wearing nothing but hoodies and loose sweaters.

I mean, I’m not gonna sacrifice my religious beliefs just so I can dress cuter, and I’m not going to disobey my mom for something as dumb as an outfit. But still, why aren’t there any nice Muslim fashion designers with us in mind?

I mean, what’s up with Hollister and their tiny shirts? And who in their right mind thought it would be okay to bring back the “midriff?!” There’s nothing more depressing than having to buy a “Large” just so your parents don’t tell you your shirt is too short. Do you have any idea how many times my parents have -very awkwardly- tried to tell me my shirt was too tight and I should go change my clothes? I mean, it was pretty damn loose for a white girl. Like, I’m sorry I have boobs, dad, but all of my clothes are gonna fit me just the same.

Moral of the story: If you weren’t blessed with the hipster-ready body of a twelve year old boy, then finding clothes is gonna suck.

10 thoughts on “Are you gonna leave the house like that?

  1. I’m not a super conservative Muslim girl by any measure, I show off my arms sometimes, my necklines can droop kinda low and I don’t wear a headscarf but I do make sure to always cover my legs and stomach and mist of my clothes are quite shapeless and I set limits for myself as to what I can and cannot wear. I know this probably sounds pretty UN-islami but I do set limits for myself and never leave the house with anything outrageous on, ever. My version of this is coming from a less of a lack of conservative clothing front, but from a matter if a different perspective.

    My parents have raised me in Australia and understand the harsh weather is not an excuse fir vulgarity, making sure that even if I don’t dress strictly fully covered its okay as ling as I have a connection with ny religion and I read my 5 namaz and go to mosque with ny friends if we”re out on a Friday but ny issue is with what boundaries I set fir myself being different frI’m what my mother wants. She’s not the kind to force me into a Burka and hijab but she doesn’t understand my thoughts on modesty.

    Having been raised in the west and my dad having had a similar life he is okay with the boundaries I’ve set, always cover my legs, if the shirt is sleeveless it’s baggy and if the neck is low the arms are covered, making little compromises along the way but always knowing my limit and he accepts it but my mother doesn’t understand and both me abd ny father have tried to explain to her that if I set my own definition if modesty and abide by it its okay fir me to do as I see fit. Now this probably sounds pretty UN Islamic but I am a good girl I promise !

    My definition if modesty is knowing the limits of your culture/religion and of yourself. To be modest is to not flaunt yourself, to speak carefully to strangers and members if the opposite sex and to never do anything that would compromise my dignity or my image. This is what u call modesty, I do believe it lies more in the person’s projection of themselves than it does in their clothing.

    Sorry that kinda turned into a rant but I felt like sharing ny perspective πŸ™‚


  2. you are an stupid fool. who the hell are you to “whip of your hajab when parents aren’t looking.” Do you even know how hard Prophet Mohammed tried to save Islam and your just throwing it with a snap of your damn fingers. YOU ARE NOT EVEN A TRUE MUSLIM, SO GET THE HELL OUT. i am seventeen, living in New York, and i wear the cutes “MODEST” clothes you’ll ever find in your life. i am a great Muslim and i know i will be in a beautiful place after i die. too bad you cannot say the same.


    1. Excuse me for saying this but your comment us quite rude. You are in no position to call yourself a better Muslim than her. It is not compulsory to wear a hijab but I know a lot of girls who wear their hijab around their parents only and then do leave the house with their friends and change into smutty clothes once out of sight. It is very wrong for then to do but


      1. You shouldn’t be saying such derogatory things to this poor girl. I’m 17 and live in Australia and I don’t wear a hijab but that dies not make me or this girl or an non-hijabi Muslim girls in the world lesser Muslims. She herself condemns thode that fake the hijab for their parents and it is horrible and totally UN Islamic for you to condemn her for being modest but not a hijabi.


    2. One thing Islam teaches is how to be nice to people. Our Prophet Mohammad pbuh was nice to everyone despite others not behaving in the same way. And to put others down and yourself on a pedestal that you will certainly go to a “beautiful place” is not right. Who knows? Maybe in Gods eyes this girl is wonderful just the way she is. Who are we to judge when it is just between that person that by the way God loves just as much as you and God himself. We should look to ourselves and our demeanor before pointing fingers at anyone else. Your comment was very rude and offensive and I hope you realize that. And by the way she did not even say that she takes off her hijab when her parents aren’t looking so please read carefully first. And please understand that I am only trying to show you that your comment was mean as a fellow sister.


      1. Thank you for your support! But don’t worry about it. I didn’t bother replying to them because they clearly didn’t read my whole post. That was very kind of you to speak up, though, and i really appreciate it πŸ™‚


  3. i completely understand. i’m beginning my college years in school and so now we get to wear our non-uniform for school but that causes stress for me because i have to hunt around for decent outfits to wear. I really wish there were more trends that were suited to modesty but it seems that in this day and age its all about flaunting what you have. Right now, i find that outfits with maxi skirts are appropriate because you can just pair them with any top/blouse and put a cardi or blazer on top so your covered but still in fashion. and you can find long tops although you may have to look around quite a bit. I would recommend to get some outfit ideas from muslimah fashion blogs


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