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You’re A Bad Muslim (JK. I still love you)

DISCLAIMER: MAJOR RELIGIOUS/OPINIONATED BLOG POST AHEAD.

I feel like my posts are getting depressing and too serious lately. Maybe that’s just a reflection of my life. Or the world in general. Either way, I have more serious-type things to talk to you about. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but WordPress (The site that hosts this blog) shows you all the search terms that people used to find your blog. Usually this is incredibly amusing to me and I can count on someone who searched “desi boobs” to give me a good laugh in the morning. {Sidenote: I do not promote naughty search terms}

However, tonight I saw that someone had searched “I’m a bad Muslim even in Ramadan” and it got me thinking about…stuff. First of all, I hope that the person who searched that comes back and reads this: You are not a bad Muslim. And just because you aren’t as religious as you’d like to be, that doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. We all make mistakes. I know you may think you’re bad compared to everyone else around you, but that’s not necessarily true. And if this is really how you feel about yourself, it’s never too late to change it. 

Confession time: I am…not a good example of a muslim. Let’s just say that. I wont go into detail, but I could stand to be a lot better than I am right now. It’s strange to me because I was pretty religious as a child. And then I grew up a little, I got lazier, and…I don’t wanna say I stopped believing. I definitely never stopped believing. But at some point I just feared God so much, and feared judgment day, and feared that I would go to hell so much that I didn’t want to believe. It scared me. The thought of religion, and God, and how this one being can have so much power scared me. 

And after that, even though I wholeheartedly believed (and still do) that Allah (SWT) is real and the only God there is, and that Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) was his messenger…I didn’t do anything about it. Sometimes I’d miss a few prayers, or I’d forget to read Quran, and my attitude towards it became “Well, I’m a horrible person and I’m going to hell anyway, so why bother?” I don’t know why, but that is what my stupid little immature brain told me. This probably makes zero sense to you, but like…whatever. It’s hard to explain if you’ve never experienced it. 

Anyway, I’m still working on bettering myself as a Muslim and as a person.  The thing is, it’s hard. It’s really hard. And I keep hearing about all these people who used to be not-so-religious and then they had some “aha moment” and BOOM! They’re the most pious person you’ve ever met. And I’m sitting here like, Okay…still waiting on that one. And then there’s all the people around you who seem like perfect Muslims and they post Hadith as their Facebook statuses and talk about how amazing they feel after taraweeh. I hate those people. I mean, good for them and all, but… I always believed -and I still believe this- that religion is a very personal thing. I mean, I’m all for talking about religion and spreading Islam and all that, but…I don’t want to feel like someone is shoving their iman down my throat. And I’m not talking about the really nice people who are genuinely pious and religious. I’m talking about the people who post about going to the Masjid and praying and doing good-Muslim type things for the sake of telling everyone that they’ve done them.

In all fairness, I have no idea what their true intentions are, and may Allah forgive me for judging them. Well now I sound like a hypocrite…oh whatever. My point is that… My mother always told me that we should not brag about our good deeds, no matter how good it is. Because the moment we tell someone else about it to show off, that deed no longer counts. I don’t know if there is any Hadith or story to back this up, but it makes sense to me. I think this notion that your religion is between you and God and you don’t have to tell everyone about it contributed to my feelings about my own beliefs. Even when I wasn’t doing so well in the prayer aspect of things, I had very strong feelings in my heart. I knew what I believed. I knew it was right. I think that’s what kinda helped me get back on track. 

So I guess that’s the whole point of this post: If you believe in Islam, and you honestly want to change for yourself, and for Allah, than you can do it. It’s all about making the effort. (and if you need some incentive to change, try looking up the punishments for whatever you’re doing wrong)

This post is getting pretty long. I think I’m going to stop here for now, but I want to keep posting about this for the rest of Ramadan. Mind you, I will still try to provide you with awkward snapshots of my life as they happen. Maybe my next post should be about hijab or something. I want to get a conversation going. So, any questions, comments, concerns, things you would like me to look up for you, feel free to put in the comments or, feel free to email me. My info is in the “Hit me up” tab. 

Moral of the story: awkwardmuslimgirl is a huge hypocrite and you shouldn’t listen to a thing she says 😉

5 thoughts on “You’re A Bad Muslim (JK. I still love you)

  1. I like this post very much:) Kind of reminds me of myself really and how I think. I also see religion as a very private and personal matter and your mother is right and I absolutely agree – there is a Hadith to back that up too, but I cant remember it. For me it’s enough that Allah knows. There are some people who I like to refer to as “Ramadanians”, who just put the topi on and a dari. They do great for a month, they choose not to listen to music, instead it’s naats 24\7 and what not. As soon as Ramadan is over, they slowly revert back their usual self..they kinda missed the point then 😛 Lol and for some reason IDK why, I also don’t like those who keep posting Hadith and stuff on Facebook (Some of them happen to be pretty good and I do hit like then xD)

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    1. Thank you! I’m glad you feel the same way. I think the thing about those religious statuses is that you feel obligated to like them because you’re Muslim. Thanks for reading! Ramadan Mubarak!

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  2. what??!!! u have visited ur blog wizout adding any thing new??? hhhhh ok young lady looking forward to read more about ur blogs!
    and by the way “have u ever thought ofwriting in arabic” hhhhh

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  3. I feel exactly the same way, and I’m still struggling to make myself a better muslim. It’s hard. I still believe, but at the same time, I’m scared. I’m scared of going to hell. I’m scared of the concept of eternityand all the power Allah has. But we should still try… don’t worry, I’m waiting for that aha! moment as well. I hope insha’Allah, we can better ourselves into becoming better muslims.

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