I’m talking about life.
Is anyone else feeling this? Summer is practically over. You know what happens after that? Life happens. And I am definitely not prepared for it.
I have to be an adult now. At least, as much of an adult as my mother will let me be. Its still a scary thing to think about. I don’t wanna grow up. I don’t wanna get a job and go to college. I don’t wanna be responsible.
Its ironic, though. My whole life I waited for this year. I always thought I was gonna grow up, go to college, get away from my dysfunctional family, and have a great life in the city. In all honesty I’ve been secretly fantasizing about having that Mary Tyler Moore moment where I confidently walk down the busy city streets with my hands in my trendy coat pockets, then smile up at the sky and laugh for no good reason before tossing my equally trendy hat into the air.
Did I just lose half of you with that classic television reference? Sorry. I grew up watching TV Land.
Anyway, the closer I get to the first day of school the more I worry. What if I don’t make any friends? What if I lose contact with my old friends? What if I get mugged on the subway?
And as if the near future isn’t bad enough, my mother very casually informed me the other day that she expects me to get married in four years. Four years is nothing! And then what? Children? A real job? Total disregard for my own well-being as I become one of those wives who puts her family first without realizing that in doing so she’s let herself go? And what’s after that? Kids who will realize that they’re smarter than their own mother and will be embarrassed of me as I sit on the couch in front of the television watching Mary Tyler Moore reruns and wishing I’d gotten a Master’s degree?
Do you see what just happened here? I somehow equated starting college to becoming a fat housewife. In case you haven’t already noticed, I’m the worst-case-scenario type.
Moral of the story: Stay in school, kids.