Shut up. It was supposed to be punny.
So, last Sunday I went to the eye doctor to get contacts. Mind you, I think I look better with glasses. I just wanted contacts so I could wear cute nonprescription sunglasses. Anyway, before they let you leave with a trial set, they show you how to put the lenses in and take them out.
It took me an hour to figure it out. The doctor told the receptionist to teach me how to do it and that bitch was no help. She just sat there and stared at me while I was trying not to poke myself in the eye. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even wear contacts, so what the fuck does she know? They let me go home with a one week trial once I got the hang of it, but my mom wouldn’t stop making fun of me for taking so long.
The whole time I was there she kept walking in the room to ask if I got them in yet. And then she tried to give me tips and the doctor was like, “No don’t do that! You’ll hurt your eye!” Thanks for the shitty advice, mom. But seriously, I’d like to know how long it took her the first time.
You know what the annoying thing is? When I was finally at home and tried to put them in myself, it only took like, thirty seconds. Its a lot easier without an audience.
Moral of the story: Contacts and a fresh manicure are an awful combination.