Oh boy. Here we go again.
I realize I haven’t actually written anything specifically about being Muslim in a while. But then this happened: Someone commented on my blog and asked me why I listen to music even though I know its haram. I’m not perfect, that’s why. People like that really get on my nerves. Yes, I do know it’s haram, and yes, I still do it. But that’s my problem and my business, isn’t it? It’s like what I said in one of my Ramadan posts; your religion is between you and Allah. At the end of the day only Allah knows what’s in your heart and your true intentions.
You don’t know me. You don’t know my life!
But apart from that, people who point out what you’re doing wrong just make you feel so guilty. And I don’t think that’s fair. I’ve been called out for not wearing hijab, and how I dress, and being friends with guys, and everything under the sun. But I could just as easily call those people out for judging me. I cant stand the people who say “Oh, that’s haram. You’re going to go to hell for that.” People actually say that. Stupid people actually say that! And I’m not calling them stupid because they’re being rude to me. I’m calling them stupid for actually thinking that they know what Allah has in store for me, or anyone else on this earth. Shame on them. I can handle being called a lot of bad things, but I absolutely do not tolerate when people tell me or others that they’re a bad Muslim or that they’re going to hell. Those are two things that ONLY Allah can decide.
Now I’m sidetracked. My main issue is people calling out other people. Yes, we all do things that we know we shouldn’t. We smoke, we flirt, we take that second look (or in my case, fifteenth look 😉 ), or we eat that non-zabiha cheeseburger. But those are our choices. Yes we know they’re wrong, but we’re humans. We are weak and we make mistakes and we act in our own best interest. But we’re all just trying to do our best in this life. You don’t know how often people pray, or read Quran, or give to charity, or what they could be doing better than you. We keep these things private. And yet here you are, pointing out the one thing we are doing wrong. And Insha’Allah we will one day have the strength quit smoking, lower our gaze, or only eat halal. Until then, though, we need to realize that we are no better than anyone else.
I’m sure I must be guilty of judging people’s faith, too, but its something that needs to stop. It’s not nice to point out a problem that someone already knows they have. It’s like…pointing out a zit on someone’s face. It’s rude and it makes everything after that awkward. They know they have it, and it’s their own problem. Just because you can see it, doesn’t mean it affects you in any way or is any of your business. And chances are, they’re probably self conscious about it. Acknowledging it isn’t going to make them feel any better. They’re probably praying for that zit to go away for all you know. And in time, that zit will go away whether you point it out or not. Or maybe it wont and it will leave a scar. But still, that’s between them God.
And if I choose to listen to music or not wear hijab, its my decision. You don’t know my relationship with God, so please don’t jump to conclusions. Do I wish I wore hijab? Yes. Do I wish I didn’t listen to music? Of course. But the problem isn’t as simple as putting on a scarf, or putting away my headphones. Some people are fine with the choices they’ve made, and its not always our place to speak. And I think that’s what we all need to understand.
At the same time, some of the people who say these things are actually trying to help. They’re just doing it in an aggressive, less tactful way than they should, but they’re trying to help nonetheless. Maybe instead of outwardly acknowledging their mistakes, we can remind ourselves to pray for them, or very gently suggest a way to help them change.
Moral of the story: Keep your freaking mouth shut or else I will cut you.