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Do You Want To Buy A Fake ID?

YOU GUISE! I got offered a fake ID. This means I’m officially a college student. Also, fake IDs are so expensive!

What had happened was…

So there’s this dude who was in my English class last semester, and he missed a bunch of classes, so one of my friends in that class gave him my number (without asking me! #rude) so I could help him with his homework. Anyway, this dude starts texting me on a regular basis but it’s awkward because he never shows up to class, so really I have no idea who this guy is. He seemed harmless at the time, and I didn’t want to be rude, so I kept talking to him. But after a while I started ignoring him.

But then a little while ago he texted me again saying he wanted to hang out, and I thought I might as well humor him. And then this conversation happened:

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Naturally I’m freaking out at this point, so I texted TheTipsyElephant and asked for advice. First, she laughed at my misfortune. It’s just my luck to find out the boy I’ve awkwardly been texting for the past six months sells fake IDs and, by that logic, may very well also be a drug dealer. So, in order to shoo him away or, at the very least, discourage him, I did what any other awkward muslim girl would do, and told him how utterly boring I am.

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Yes, I did totally spaz. TheTipsyElephant found this hilarous. And then she said I should ask how much they were, because really, how awesome would it be to have a fake ID as a sort of souvenir from your college days? It’s not like we’d ever use it, but it’d be cool to have, right?

Wrong. Fake IDs are EXPENSIVE. He wanted $105 for it. If I had a hundred and five dollars to spend in the first place, I would not be buying any stupid fake ID. I’d go buy some friggin chocolate with that much money. Like seriously.

Moral of the story: Selling fake IDs is a very lucrative business and totally beats a part time job.

4 thoughts on “Do You Want To Buy A Fake ID?

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