Happy new year!
Did you know I only made 7 blog posts in 2015? I gotta step up my game. I’m not making any new years resolutions, though, ’cause those are for squares. But I’ve been thinking, 2015 kinda just sucked. Like, it was really bad. Granted, there were some major personal developments and epiphanies, but it was rough. I think that might have been a good thing though. It’s left me with a very clear image of who I am, what I’m capable of, and what/who is and isn’t worth my time. This all sounds really cheesy, and honestly I’m not counting on 2016 to be a particularly memorable year, but I’m a little better off now than I was last year.
Here’s what I learned in 2015:
I don’t mean that in a depressing, woe-is-me kind of way. It’s supposed to be freeing. This is my motto for 2016. I just feel like I spent so much time caring about what other people have, and what I don’t have, and who likes me and who doesn’t like me and blah blah blah. But it doesn’t matter. Why? I’ll tell you why. At the end of the day, everyone is selfish, insecure, and putting on a show. No one is real. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being “fake.” I mean I pride myself on being a bit too candid and overly transparent at times, but even then I’m still trying to prove something, aren’t I?
Here’s the thing, though: Who cares? Seriously, who cares? Trying to look good on the internet will never take you as far as you think it will. It’s no sign of success. I know this is some really cliche BS that people say all the time, but once you actually realize how true it is, it’s kinda great. Because at the end of the day, no matter how many likes these other girls get, or how many vacations they go on, or how big their wedding is, it’s no reflection of who they are as a person. The internet makes you feel like you need to be a big deal, or else you’re nobody. But having 1000+ followers can’t be the only thing you have to offer people.
None of that actually matters in the real world. It matters how you treat people, and how you make people feel and how you carry yourself. Everybody has something to say about everyone else. I just don’t trust a lot of people anymore. I don’t mean that in a rude way. Maybe people shouldn’t trust me either. I have a big mouth and a blog, anyway. My point is that we shouldn’t put so much emphasis on these people. Not that we shouldn’t care about them at all, but we shouldn’t let anything they say or do hurt our feelings. I’m just really done letting people hurt my feelings.
At the end of the day, I know that I’m doing my best to be nice to people, and I recognize and accept the fact that a lot of times, people aren’t trying very hard to be nice to me. And somehow that makes it a little easier. Almost as if being nice has become something rebellious. Everyone just wants to push your buttons. When they’re being rude it does nothing for them if you keep your anger on the inside. They want a reaction out of you. And if you don’t give them one, either they start to appreciate how nice you actually are, or they get tired of trying to hurt you.
No matter what they do, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been trying to keep that in mind lately. I lost my cool a few times this weekend, but when I came home and thought about it, I realized certain people just aren’t even worth getting worked up over. Rude, angry people are unhappy. I don’t want to be one of those people.
Moral of the story: I may have less instagram followers than my 12 year old cousin, but at least I can use flowery language to pretend I’m down to earth and totally not bitter about it.